4 ways to become an Authentic Leader

Following Jacinda Ardern’s phenomenal win in the 2020 New Zealand elections, I was chatting with some friends about how she inspires trust and respect as a leader. Someone recalled reading an article which described Ardern’s success being down to her authenticity. This led to us discussing what exactly we mean by authentic leadership and it was quickly evident the term meant different things to different people.

One view expressed was that authentic leaders are “true to themselves and know what they stand for”. This generated a giggle as we could all think of current world leaders who fit that description but are not particularly effective and, in some cases, are downright problematic! A quick poll amongst the group about the qualities of an authentic leader resulted in the following words showing up consistently: trustworthiness; sincerity; responsibility; impact; purpose and credibility. I’m sure you can add to this list!     

As I’ve reflected on my own leadership journey, it would be fair to say being authentic hasn’t always been easy or straightforward, especially at the start of my career.

In my first leadership role, eager to fit in and to please, I sometimes agreed with decisions that didn’t sit comfortably with me, because I didn’t have the courage to express my views or to challenge the status quo. Worse still, there were times I struggled to make what I knew was the right decision for fear of upsetting some team members. I held back from giving honest feedback for the same reason. And, in true people-pleasing perfectionist style, I ruminated endlessly on what I should have done or said, convincing myself that not having done/said what I should have, was proof I wasn’t good enough to lead.

Fast-forward to more recent leadership roles and those early days seem like a bad dream!

But those experiences, including the fall-outs, helped me grow and I’ve embraced the learning! I’d like to share with you my reflections and insights on how being authentic became easier.  

1 – Knowing Myself!

Developing deeper self-awareness and having better understanding of who I am has been essential for my growth as a leader. Yes, I started with some idea of my strengths and limitations, but it was only when I started to unpick what makes me tick, that I started to develop confidence and thrive.

Instrumental to my growth was discovering what my natural, innate talents were and how capitalising on these would help me lead successfully. There are many ways of doing this. The tool I used - the StrengthsFinder Profile developed by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O Clifton – identified my signature themes and I worked with my coach to explore how I would apply these in my leadership roles. I still remember the sense of elation when I read the descriptions of each of my 5 themes (connectedness, belief, maximiser, responsibility, and developer – for those of you familiar with StrengthsFinder) recognising myself as I read each description and thinking ‘oh wow of course, this is me, they are describing me!’  

There was a sense of relief too!

Contrary to what a manager had once told me, there was nothing odd or peculiar about my natural instincts as a leader!

 In fact, my recurring patterns of behaviour, and the thoughts and feelings underlying these, were being recognised in an international bestseller as talents!

So yes, of course I wanted to focus on these! I wanted to learn how to combine my innate talents with knowledge and skills - both of which could be acquired - to create strengths.

Playing to my strengths has gone a long way towards enabling me to show up authentic. To be myself. To not hide the best parts of me.

Of course I don’t ignore what I know to be my weaknesses. I’m honest and open about these, and I don’t fixate on overcoming them. Some I’ve learnt to manage; damage-control, as my coach used to say. Mostly though, I make a point of learning about the unique talents of team members and colleagues because experience has taught me time and again that what I struggle with will come easily and effortlessly to someone else. And putting our talents together is the road to success.         

2 – Living my values

I am crystal clear about my values – the principles and beliefs that define and guide me.

My values are my anchor and keep me grounded.

They set the tone for how I live and lead.

My core values underpin all my decisions and shape all my interactions with others.

Being values-driven means I’m committed to doing the right thing at the right time for the right reasons. Decision-making is actually a lot easier when it is values-driven. And when my decisions, or indeed my actions, aren’t aligned with my values, the resulting cognitive dissonance tells me something has to change.  

I believe consistently demonstrating my values through my actions deepens connections and creates trust.  I have to walk the talk if I’m going to inspire confidence and build credibility. If my words and actions are not aligned, that just screams FAKE!

Living my values enables me to model authenticity and set a positive example.       

It isn’t always easy though.

Being true to my values takes commitment and courage!                                 

Sometimes it’s tempting to just take the easy road!

Not give honest feedback…

Dodge the difficult conversation…

Dismiss an inappropriate comment…

That’s when I remind myself not to beat myself up and do better next time! It helps in those situations to make space for honest self-reflection and to develop some insight into what got in the way of authenticity.

Sometimes it’s something as simple as not having energy because I’m exhausted from lack of sleep. On other occasions, it might be a deeper underlying reason, like wanting to avoid conflict or to fit in. Deeper insights pave the way for development and growth and help me get back on track.

3 - Being accountable

Being accountable shows up in many different ways: doing what I said I’d do, turning up prepared, delivering on time, keeping confidences, being open to feedback.

These are the easy ones though…essentially about others being able to count on me!

It’s harder when accountability requires me to expose my vulnerabilities! When I have to admit I got it wrong. Or be honest and say I don’t know the answer. Or give feedback someone will find challenging.

I’m committed to being transparent on these occasions, but I’ll admit, sometimes it takes courage to do what I know is right. It is always worth it, though!

What helps is remaining true to my stated values and letting these guide my actions.   

I’ve found that creating an environment where everyone feels safe, helps us all round. Hearing their boss admit to getting it wrong reassures people it’s ok to make a mistake. It encourages them to be open and not hide for fear of blame. This in turn allows us to collaborate on seeking solutions and fixing what’s gone wrong.

I’m always conscious that my decisions and actions as a leader have an impact on others. This sense of accountability is a strong internal driver and guides my behaviour like an inner compass. It reminds me to treat people in the way I would like to be treated. It reinforces my commitment to doing everything from a place of love and making people feel valued. So when I give feedback, I’ll be caring and compassionate and demonstrate empathy. I’ll use my words and tone carefully. I’ll be fair and balanced. I’ll listen with an open heart and mind. I’ll work in ways that heal rather than hurt.

Being accountable enables me to lead by example and influence with integrity.

4 – Practising Self-care

I’ve learnt the hard way that self-care is not a luxury - it’s a necessity!

And I’ve had to learn this lesson over and over!

As a people-pleaser, self-care was totally off my radar. Believing my worth was based on what I did for others and needing the external validation that came from keeping others happy, meant there was no time for me. I struggled to prioritise my own needs, running around exhausted and overwhelmed, which eventually led to burnout.

And not just once!

Now I have boundaries in place to support my physical and mental wellbeing and I find it easier to communicate what I need to stay well.

How does an understanding of self-care support authenticity?

It helps me gain clarity about how my physical and emotional states impact on my behaviour and influence how I engage with others. When I’m tired, for instance, I might become judgemental or not listen with empathy. When I’m not going for my walks, which help declutter my mind, I’m more likely to procrastinate. On the other hand, when I’m well-rested and relaxed, my behaviours are much more in line with my values. I listen to understand, I connect with others, I collaborate. I’m motivated to do my best for myself and those I engage with.

Practising self-care means I’m treating myself with the same compassion and thoughtfulness with which I treat others. Self-care requires reflection, awareness and a commitment to my own wellbeing. These are all essential to supporting my authenticity.

So now that I’ve shared my thoughts with you, I’d love to hear what authentic leadership means for you.

What are the challenges?

What would help you practise authenticity?

Oh and one final thought!

Authentic doesn’t mean perfect!!!

Warm wishes

Khairun