Comfortable in your Comfort Zone?

I was recently asked to be a speaker at a local event at two days notice! To fill in for someone who was unable to attend.

Even while I was on the phone to the event organiser, the thoughts rapidly racing through my mind…in this specific order…were…

I can’t!

I don’t know how to!

I’m not a public speaker!

I won’t know what to say!

I’ll fumble my words!

I’ll start crying!

I look a mess!

I have nothing to wear! (yeah, I know!) 

I’ve hardly been out in the last six months, because of my health condition!

I’m vulnerable!

I have no time to prepare!

I’ll make a fool of myself!

Yes, you’ve guessed it! The Not Good Enough Gremlins were out in force! Aided and abetted by the Stay Safe Gremlins! And not far behind was the Big One! My Who do you think you are? Gremlin!

So of course, my instinct was to decline the offer to speak.

The mind-chatter was loud! 

Say No! Just say No!

Saying No would mean I stayed safe.

Saying No stopped me risking failure and humiliation.

Saying No meant the next few days were predictable and easy.

And yet…

I found myself saying Yes! 

Because I knew deep down that before I could help others live and lead with courage, I had to live courageously myself. No matter how vulnerable I felt. No matter how tempting it was to stay within my comfort zone – that lovely, safe space where I felt in control and where there were no risks and no surprises!    

So…

I over-rode my default I can’t setting.    

And I showed up!

I stood in front of my audience and spoke about my personal experience of mental health.

And we connected in a way that still makes me well up today when I think about it weeks later! 

My story of a chaotic and unpredictable early life seemed to resonate with the audience. They nodded when I spoke about the lack of self-worth and the sense of powerlessness. They understood the gut-wrenching anxieties that sometimes stopped me in my tracks. 

They got me! 

They got me because they too had travelled on similar roads. 

We realised that while our outer journeys may have been different, the inner landscape of our hearts and minds had much in common. 

As I reflect on the connections I made that day, I’m grateful for grabbing the opportunity when it was presented…for having the courage to step out of my comfort zone and say Yes! 

The experience reminded me that I’m at my best when connecting authentically with others and learning and growing together. 

I felt refreshed and energised as a result of that event. 

I felt alive!  

Staying in my comfort zone would have meant missing an amazing opportunity for connection and growth.

Was it scary stepping out of the comfort zone?

YES!

But staying in my comfort zone was scary too!

It meant I wouldn’t grow.

I wouldn’t get to do the work I was passionate about. 

I wouldn’t become the person I aspired to be.

I wouldn’t live a life of purpose.

I’ve realised that staying in our comfort zone isn’t always comfortable! Safety and familiarity bring with them the risk of stagnation and a life not fully lived. 

I’m not suggesting of course that you rush to break out of your comfort zone! 

It really just depends on where you are at the moment.

Perhaps you want to develop and grow and do things you’ve not done before?

Alternatively, you may need the safety and security of your comfort zone for now?

There was a time in my life I wanted things to just be easy and straightforward. After painful life events left me physically and emotionally depleted several years ago, I wanted to stay in ‘safe waters’. I wanted familiar structures and routines. I didn’t want to try anything new. I didn’t want to take any risks. The goal was just to get through each day. This was not the time to push boundaries or seek new challenges! I needed to be still while I healed.

At that point in my life, my comfort zone was exactly where I wanted and needed to be!  

But as I recovered and gathered strength, I started noticing the discomfort. There was something missing. I wanted more from life than the comfort zone offered! I wanted to live a purposeful and meaningful life. I was ready to thrive and not just survive. 

I knew then it was time to step away from what was a safe but uninspired existence and to start putting my head above the parapet. 

Now I try to live courageously and purposefully every day as I create the life I once dreamt about.  

I don’t always get it right! 

Some days I make bold and daring choices that are fully aligned with my values and move me towards my vision. On other days, I find comfort in the comfort zone!  

And I’m comfortable with that! For now!

I’d love to hear if any of this resonates with you!

How would you define your comfort zone?

Is it a comfortable place to be?

If you wanted to step out of your comfort zone, what would help you take your very first step?   

Look forward to hearing from you!

Khairun